Cornermen

Everybody has a game plan for a fight until the first punch lands. That initial, “what the fuck?” can cut you at the knees. If you are able to stand and survive the round; you have a chance to regroup and get back to your cornerman. Who is there? This support while at the top of your game goes under-appreciated. With time it will inevitably become the most important occupation. Stumbling and needing to tweak the plan. You better hope you picked well.

This week I, unfortunately, had to attend a funeral of a family member. He was a talented and troubled man. He only made it to the young age of thirty-six. The skills he crafted were beyond that. His ability was as deep as the hole in his mother’s heart from his unexpected passing. He stumbled to his corner too late. Trusting a group of friends who fueled their talents through a needle. His only support led him to the same suggestion again and again. Where were the people that could have shown him a different way? Did he choose his path before seeing all his options? He spent fifteen years in and out of programs trying to get back to that once boring “sober mindset”. In these moments of clarity, he was able to try a new path. Until another hit and another program got in the way.

Few years into this war he found his corner still cheering. They were always there, just on the opposite side of the ring. Stumbling from being beaten down by this poison. His new team fed him with new life, extending his warrior spirit to continue to stand and face his demons. He made it so much further because of the people he forgot he had around him. He started to make amends and started to erase some of the negativity from his life. All this time he used his experiences to create and touch people in many ways.

The demon did win this battle. Not by overdose, but by his fall after shooting up. I have no doubt he would have come back from this slip-up. The funeral I was at was full of people who had not given up on him. This is the goal. To eliminate the weak from your group because; it is the fringes that push and move our center.

For this particular family member, it was too late. The creator swooped in like a referee and called the fight. He received his final mercy, he had enough. The somber experience inspired me to lean on my team more. I did not know the man very well but I know I would be very proud to have the love and support he ended his life with. As I move forward, I hold on to the lessons I learned from him. He taught me to vet my team and only choose those who uplift and support me. He also showed me to not be afraid to cut the toxic people out of your life when you identify them. Lastly and most prominent, I hope to never wrestle with the guilt he had in his day-to-day life. I hope to never feel the emptiness he must have felt when he would ask himself the simple question; now what?