A Complex Game of Jenga

For those not familiar with the game of Jenga, it is a game made of wood blocks that are stacked in rows of three. Each player takes a turn removing a piece and placing it on top. The object is to keep the stack balanced for as long as possible. Seems simple enough, so what does this seemingly childish game have to do with life? 

The way I see it each players turn forms the tower in a new and unique way, just like when we make big decisions in our life. Decisions like moving to a brand new state or country, getting married, divorced, falling in love or maybe even separating yourself from a religious background. These are decisions that we will look back on later in life and we will be able to clearly see how that decision shaped our "tower".

In this game there is a point where no more moves can be made. You have been shaped, its either accept the tower in front of you or pull a block watch it tumble and start over. The key to this is only you can pull the last block to send the tower tumbling. No one else has that power. Life may push you to make this last move. Break ups, career changes and having a loved one pass away are all examples of moments that may make you take a new look at the tower in front of you. We have one life to live and there is no need to settle. If you are unhappy with what is in front of you rebuild, rebuild, rebuild. 

Now the hard part. Once you are confident in your structure you can start looking for a supporting cast. Find people who are self aware and have built up what they want to be. Only surround yourself with these people. As difficult as it is to find genuine and real people, that is not the hardest part of this step. It's definitely a challenge and may take many attempts of trial and error. Not everyone will understand you or the reasons behind your decisions. Put in the time and find relationships that help you stand tall as the person you have become. Once you realize these people exist you should strive to help them do the same.

You must first accept all the decisions that they made to form the tower in front of you. This present form and moment is all we should see. All of the past decisions easy or hard have lead to this exact place. We must understand that just because we do not agree or understand certain decisions that were made, that does not make them wrong. The blocks removed from the tower were their decision and formed the person you see today. Unconditional love. Now that is the hard part.

Unfortunately I have been in relationships that said they liked the tower I placed in front of them. As time past it came clear that they had their eyes on one or two blocks they did not like and hoped to pull out later down the road. They did not realize that if any of the blocks were removed it would completely change the person in front of them. "He/She is perfect....well besides___________ but he/she can change down the road."  I think we have all been guilty of this thought.This is an unfair expectation to put on anyone. 

It is not our job to take on people as projects or build or shape our loved ones towers. One block cant simply be removed without destroying the whole tower and this is what I think we fail to see. By the time we show the world who we really are all the moves have been played. Our tower is perfectly balanced. The decisions have been made and hopefully learned from. We are who we have chosen to be.