A Letter to My Unborn SON

Twenty-Seven weeks until I can see you, and you are already everything I think about. My life changed the day your Mother came out of the bathroom with her face pale as snow. We were trying not to think about you this month. It had been two years of monthly tears, weekly google searches and trying our best daily to keep hope alive. Twenty-four months we scheduled every move and waited. Every month BUT February of 2022.

That was the month we were starting to feel defeated. We avoided the subject all month and tried to face the pain of not having you. We both decided that we needed one month to repair before setting up appointments and diving into more serious testing....

"I'm pregnant?" Naturally, I didn't believe her, I had to see this for myself. I rolled out of bed and made my way to the bathroom. Your Mom doesn't have the best eye sight so she must have been seeing double or read the pregnancy test wrong. She did not. She was right (as usual, you'll see). We were having a baby and neither of us knew how to react. We watched enough YouTube to know how we SHOULD have reacted but we couldn't muster anything. We could not believe it. We feared that the beautiful double lined pregnancy test would fade. That same day we took two more tests, we even got the digital kind so that we couldn't make any mistakes. All read "pregnant"!!

Your Uncle Joe and Aunt Emily were staying with us that weekend. The morning we found out they were the first to know because quite frankly we couldn't act normal. We stumbled out of our bedroom looking dazed.

"She is pregnant.", I stated.

"You can be excited you know.....", They responded.

Ultrasound number one was when everything changed for me. I heard your heartbeat for the first time and everything seemed real. Dun-duh, dun-duh, dun-duh, 169 beats per minute. Mine could have stopped right then and I would have had a smile on my face! It was no longer just a test telling me, I could hear you and see you for myself! My human!

My excitement to meet my little boy grows everyday. Me and your Mom talk about you all the time and fantasize on what life with you will be like. You have brought so much focus and love into our relationship already and I want to thank you. You have been a positive change since day one. You have cleansed our entire life of unnecessary stress and anger. We love you Taysom Bear Bennion!